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Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula

What kind of fucked up naming convention is, "This movie presents this other movie?" The Fast & Furious franchise "presented" its first spinoff a while back, which I guess inspired the the big braaaaaiins behind the hit, South Korean zombie flick Train to Busan to do the same thing with their sequel, Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula.

Dumbfuckery knows no cultural bounds. How else do you explain why the sequel to Train to Busan isn't called Train to Busan 2: Zomblectric Boogaloo? Another cross-cultural certainty is that sequels are almost never anywhere near as good as the original, and Peninsula is no exception. The good news is that the first movie was so chomptastic that even though the sequel is a shambling shadow of it it's still better than a bite on the arm from the walking dead.

Speaking of which, where the first movie was a claustrophobic, creative take on zombie horror with virtually all the action taking place on a train, the sequel is basically just an extended episode of The Walking Dead: Seoul.

A soldier trying to save his sister, brother-in-law, and conspicuously precocious nephew from the zombie apocalypse rushes to the North Korean safe zone. Four years later, the soldier and the other refugees are considered second (or third) class citizens, so he ends up working for a crime boss who sends him back into the South Korean zombie zone to bring back a truck filled with $20M in cash.

This crime boss is no Vito Corleone. Along with the ex-soldier, he sends a middle-aged, chick cab driver, the soldier's still worthless bro-in-law, and a random guy with no discernible zombie-killing or heisting skills. This group of crack - I mean, on crack - thieves doesn't even bring any knives or stakes, so when their ammo runs out they're more fucked than a whore on half-priced Hump (Her) Day.

Peninsula relies a lot more on CGI than Train to Busan did, and judging by how video game cut scene the CGI looks, the sequel didn't have the budget for the bigger, broader carnage. Still, it's a sequel you don't need to avoid like the Busan Flu. And yes, nerds, I know that the zombie virus in these movies didn't start in Busan. It's called creative fucking license. Look it up.

December 4, 2020