Cinemavenger

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Top Gun: Maverick

Back in 1986 when Top Gun jetted into the pop culture stratosphere, the mere suggestion that Russia supported a U.S. politician would've been enough to end that motherfucker's career faster than an F-14 going supersonic. These days, sorry sons of bitches across the Disunited States still support Der Trump even though Russia has been - and continues to be - actively fucking with elections to try to get that Make Me Great Again douchebag into the highest office in the land.

Talk about a danger zone!

Three plus decades later, Tom "Leapin' Leprechaun" Cruise returns for a sequel, Top Gun: Maverick, a movie no one wanted but everybody apparently went to see, because this thing made more money than a printing press. Some of it was nostalgia, sure. The rest, I guess, was Cruise's unexplainable star power and what I call the Fury Road effect, which is that people are so over CGI that any movie that showcases some solid, practical effects and/or stunt work will have no problem putting asses in seats, even if it isn't particularly good.

Cruise's Pete "Maverick" Mitchell is back, and he's learned fuck all and grown fuck none since the '80s. He's still a selfish, egotistical hotshot, which means he's the last person you'd want to lead a highly sensitive, critical mission. So, of course, that's exactly what he's asked to do. He also hasn't gotten over the death of his BFF, Goose, so naturally Goose's son just happens to be one of the pilots Mav has to train for the borderline suicide run.

Say what you will about the clusterfuck that was the 1980s and the Cold War, but at least you knew who the enemy was. Goddam Russia! With movie studios' profits in 2022 tied to foreign markets, particularly China, tighter than a ball gag on a gimp, the enemy here is just a nameless, faceless, country-less military. That means there's no villain to root against and, thus, no reason to cheer when the scrappy Americans blow up some of his important stuff.

Add to all that that Top Gun: Maverick is just as much a big budget armed forces recruiting pitch as the original, and it beats the absolute fuck out of me how it became one of the most successful movies in recent memory.

I feel the need, the need to heave.

October 14, 2022