Cinemavenger

   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.

The Menu

Everybody may or may not want to rule the world, but everybody definitely wants to think they're special. Or, maybe more accurately, they want other people to think they're special. There are only so many babies to save from burning buildings or whistles to blow about the government recording everything you do or say, so most folks have to settle for something way the shit less interesting and important to set themselves apart.

Some people collect those tiny, useless souvenir spoons from around the globe. Others join serial killer fan clubs. Punks get green mohawks, and suburban drones play pickleball. Then there are the wine lovers, beer snobs, and last and least foodies. Because in 2023, even liking food to a fuckdiculous degree is enough to let you believe you're better than the philistines.

​Everyone has at least one foodie in their lives. On the plus side, hanging out with a foodie sometimes introduces you to a tasty new treat. On the downside, foodies force the rest of us to listen to an epically unforgiveable amount of highfalutin', narcissistic bullshit. "Last night I made a legume reduction spread and berry compote melange on an America brioche." So, a PB&J? You fucking asshole.

​Foodie culture hit a new high water mark last year with its very own self-aware suspense/horror movie, The Menu. Think of it as Agatha Christie meets Julia Child . . . if both of them rode the short bus. A bunch of foodie fucks with more money than sense descend on a remote island for an exclusive dinner prepared by world renown Chef Slowick (Ralph "Fig" Fiennes). Among the guests are a movie star (John "Manzana" Leguizamo), some Wall Street/Silicon Valley bros., an older couple returning for the dozenth time, and a catty restaurant critic (Janet "Bangers" McTeer). 

The "main course" couple, if you will, are Tyler (Nicholas "Hummus" Hoult), a foodie more interested in bone marrow than boning, and the much less alimentary obsessed Margot (Anya "Toffee" Taylor-Joy). There's something off about this pair from the moment we meet them, and most people will guess what it is before the amuse-bouche.

The pretentious dinner goes surreally sideways, but foodies and regular shits alike will probably find a morsel or two to sink their teeth into. And if you've ever worked in the service industry you're sure to savor some sadistic wish fulfillment.

May 12, 2023