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The Favourite

Neighbour.  Honour.  Rumour.  The Favourite.  That useless, superfluous "u."  That's why England lost the Revolutionary War.  The Brits were so busy penning extra letters in every other word that they were late to all the battles.  That and they were a bunch of tea-sippin', buggery-lovin' pussies.

Even though the David U.S. kicked Goliath England's pasty ass and went on to form a world-dominating democratic republic based on the ideals of truth, justice and obesity, Americans still have a soft spot for all things British.  Why else would legions of middle-class housewives from Bangor to Bakersfield lose their shit - even today - about Lady Di dying and wake up at 3AM to watch a royal wedding?

The same cultural affection explains why Americans eat up period piece Brit flicks like they were so many deep fried Big Macs.  So you can bank on your girlfriend, wife, and/or mistress forcing you to sit through The Favourite, the latest export from the kingdom of shitriffic smiles.

This historio-dramedy centers on Queen Anne's (Olivia "Gary" Colman) relationship with her chief advisor, the Duchess of Marlborough (Rachel "Edel" Weisz).  As with many royals, the Queen is a spoiled, mercurial child.  She relies on the smart, stern advice of her Best Girl on everything from how to wage war to how to wear makeup. 

When Abigail (Emma "Sixteen" Stone), a fallen noblewoman, shows up one day, Lady Marlborough makes her her maid.  Abigail immediately begins to insinuate herself into Marlborough's relationship with the Queen, but to what end?  Is Abigail merely trying her best to serve her mistress and country, or does she aim to usurp Marlborough's place at court for her own dastardly ends?

Who gives a fuck-a-duck fuck?  The only thing The Favourite will be remembered for is that it includes Emma Stone's first ever nude scene.  One titty.  That's all we get.  But holy ass crackers is it everything we've been waiting Stone's entire career for and more?  Yes, you horny sons of bitches.  Yes it is.

Three excellent performances.  Two of Cinemavenger's fuck fantasy all-stars.  One beautiful breast.  Call it Game of Throne.

December 14, 2018

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