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   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.

Team America: World Police

Even though Kim Jong Un personally called me and threatened to "blow up the Internet" if I reminded people about the movie that made fun of North Korea but that the DPRK wasn't able to keep from being released, Team America: World Police, Cinemavenger bows to no man or nation.  Fuck that noise.

In fact, just for wagging that pathetic excuse for a cock at me (and before Sony buys YouTube and has it removed), here's a link to the so-funny-you'll-piss-yourself Rucka Rucka Ali song parody that blasts a full load of hilarity all over Un's daddy's face.

"I'm a Korean"

As much as North Korea hates freedom, America - and in particular, Hollywood - loves money.  How else can you explain Paramount's decision to let Trey Parker and Matt Stone (you know, the South Park guys), make Team America: World Police after their earlier asstacular efforts, Orgazmo and BASEketball?  I guess each movie made just enough money ($1.05 maybe?) for the studio head to green-light a 2004 ripoff of the 1960s British TV series, Thunderbirds.

That's right.  Like ThunderbirdsTeam America: World Police features nothing but puppets.  Marionettes to be precise.  Yup, it's 98 minutes of puppets bouncing around, strings clearly visible as they fight, curse, blow up landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and the Sphinx and, in one totally absurd scene, fuck their way through pretty much the entire Kama Sutra.

The top dog villain in Team America is none other than then-head of North Korea, Kim Jong Il.  Working with the likes of al-Qaeda and F.A.G. (the Film Actors Guild - led by chief F.A.G. Alec Baldwin and including noteworthy F.A.G.s George Clooney, Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn, among many other F.A.G.s), Il plans to bomb the entire world back to the stone age.  Which is to say make it like North Korea.

The whole movie boils down to Parker and Stone analogizing international politics and terrorism to dicks, pussies and assholes. 

But of course it does.

Jesus titty-fuckin' Christ.

December 28, 2014.  Video review rather than theatrical release review because fuck North Korea.