T-Shirt Hell
ThinkGeek
Cinemark Cinemas
Punk Tacos HD Radio Station
The Chive

Cinemavenger

   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.


Professor Marston and the Wonder Women


You know how I know that Geostorm is going to suck worse than a first-time-going-gay, shark-toothed, mid-fit epileptic off his Zoloft and blind drunk on sangria?  Not only is it not screening for critics; there aren't even any Thursday night showings of this sure to be cinematic cum stain.


Hey Geostorm, go screw!  And anyway, why would you want to drag your sweetheart kicking and screaming to a shitass disaster flick that fucked up "crush, kill, destroy" so completely the studio is hiding it until the last possible second when you could score sensitivity points - and probably get laid - by heading out to the art house softcore that is Professor Marston and the Wonder Women?


Part biopic about the creation of the first and foremost superheroine (mmm . . . super heroin), Wonder Woman, part soft-focused exploration of polyamory and BDSM, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women is comics meets kink, fanboy meets fetish.  Some guys will go full chub from the behind-the-scenes historiography while others will tent their pants at the sight of FFM threeways, spanking and rope bondage.


Say what you will about those fancy pants, egghead Ivy Leaguers, Harvard grad William Moulton Marston (Luke "I Am Your Father" Evans) managed to convince his wife, Elizabeth (Rebecca "Study" Hall), to bring a third woman, Olive (Bella "Lugosi's Dead" Heathcote), not just into their bed but into their marriage.  And Olive was a sexy 20-something coed!  And this was the fucking 1940s! 


They didn't get off (well I'm sure they got off a lot what with the threesomes and the bondage and the role playing and whatnot) scot-free, though.  Marston and Elizabeth lost their jobs.  They and Olive, and later their four children, were ostracized.  To support themselves Elizabeth became a secretary, and William started writing comic books.  Wonder Woman in particular, which it turns out had a shit ton more bondage, spanking and other Dom/sub stuff in it than at least I ever knew. 


Now if only that nastiness had made it into the new Wonder Woman movie . . . Gal Gadot tied up face down over a log . . . the villain whipping her ass bright red . . .


Wait, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah.  You could do worse than Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.


October 20, 2017