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   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.


Jojo Rabbit


Can you believe that those schnapps-swilling, sauerkraut-scarfing, murder mongers, the Nazis, are making a comeback?  Call them what you will, white supremacists, Proud Boys, tiny-penis ass clowns, but human toxic waste by any other name would smell just as shitty.


Whether you're screaming, "Too soon!" in horror or on your knees to suck Taika "Kiwi Spice" Waititi's dick because he's such an amazing auteur, you're a tool.  Hogan's Heroes proved it wasn't too soon to mine WWII, and Nazis in particular, for comic gold back in the 1960s, and Waititi may have some chops, but felicitous fellatio for Jojo Rabbit?  I think nicht.


In the closing days of WWII, 10-year-old Jojo (Roman "Peter" Griffin "Betty" Davis) wants nothing more than to be a good Nazi.  He attends Nazi Youth camps, wears his uniform proudly, and dreams of cutting Jewish throats.  His imaginary friend, who's Jojo's biggest cheerleader and bluntly brutal critic, is none other than Adolph Hitler himself (Waititi).


After a mishap knocks Jojo out of the running for Nazi Child Soldier of the Month, the little fokker is forced to spend more time home alone while his mother, Rosie (Scarlett "Fire" Johansson), is out and about.  That's when Jojo discovers a teenage Jewish girl, Elsa (Thomasin "Little Mac" McKenzie), secretly living in his attic.  The two hate and fear each other . . . right up until Screenwriting 101 says they don't, which doesn't take terribly long.


Jojo's little friend and similarly-aspiring Nazi, Yorki (not Jorgi?), is played by Archie "Keats" Yates, and if anyone needs a young version of Nick Frost for any film during the next five years or so, this kid has the role locked.  The local HNIC (head Nazi in charge), Captain Klenzendorf (Sam "I Am" Rockwell), looks out for Jojo, and Rockwell, as usual, make the most out of the small role.


Elsa's name may be a lazy shout out to Casablanca, just as Rosie's is surely meant to make you think of "the Riveter," but at least they didn't call the Jewish girl hiding in the attic Anne.  Still, I can't think of another Nazi movie that's made me laugh out loud, over and over, and also damn near brought a tear to my eye.


Chur Taika.  I owe you a stubbie.


November 8, 2019