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Cinemavenger

   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.


Jay and Silent Bob Reboot


If you're trying to get your dick wet or pussy or ass stuffed by someone who's a Kevin "Half The Man He Used To Be, Literally" Smith fan, take 'em to see Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.  That is, if you can find it.  The movie didn't get a traditional release in a bunch of theaters.  Instead, Smith and his hetero life mate, Jason "Blue's" Mewes, are showing the flick at special events around the country.  Then and only then are they releasing the movie in theaters in those cities.


Why the fuck would Smith do this?  Because he made Jay and Silent Bob Reboot specifically for his fans.  It's a low budget movie with less marketing cash than the average Girl Scout troop, and the only people who will groove on it are ones who already think Smith is the snooch to their booch.  Hence the sex advice above.


Seriously though, if you haven't seen Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, forget about following, let alone enjoying, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.  After watching the fifth movie on that list, I remember thinking that it was the most self-referential film ever made.  It was.  Until now.


Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) are slacker pot dealers from New Jersey who, as in Strike Back, have to get to Hollywood to stop a movie about characters based on them from being made.  Along the way, they run into the likes of Brodie Bruce (Jason "X" Lee), Holden McNeil (Ben "Has Definitely Had Some Work Done" Affleck), Jay's ex-girlfriend and reformed thief, Justice (Shannon "May Have Had More Work Done Than Affleck" Elizabeth), and a ton of other characters from Smith's better, earlier flicks. 


Jay and Silent Bob Reboot thankfully washes away the stink palm aftertaste of Smith's last two releases, Tusk and Yoga Hosers.  Those movies (check out my reviews - do it!) would've killed a normal writer/director's career.  They were worse than 10 minutes after eating a particularly melty chocolate-covered pretzel.  I mean, scrotum ripping, Frank's Red Hot enema painful.


Hopefully Jay and Silent Bob Reboot signals that Smith has finally gotten his much-less-fat head around the fact that his best, and best received, movies are where he needs to hang out for the rest of his career.  I hear he's planning Mallrats 2 and Clerks 3.  Who knows, maybe you'll even be able to find them in a theater on opening weekend?


December 6, 2019