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   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Stupid fucking Covid. No new releases. No movie theater popcorn or vats of soda. No back row blowjobs. We're cursed with such a desert of filmic content that a fourteen-year-delayed sequel to one of the most overrated "blockbusters" in ages actually got my juices flowing. Jesus titty fucking Christ!

The first Borat movie had every other motherfucker you'd meet quoting it like it was Monty Python holy scripture. It most certainly was not, but that didn't stop all the "My wife!" and "sexytime!" and "vagine!" shouts by people too dumb to realize they were the butt of the joke all along. Now Sacha "Red" Baron Cohen has donned the fake mustache and cheap suit once again for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

Other than the 'stache, suit, and jokes about Jews (which, of course, are meant to poke fun at Jew-haters but also hedge the producers' bets on getting clueless bigot butts into seats), Borat Subsequent Moviefilm has less to say than the number five prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. And that bitch got no tongue! It doesn't even offer up any new quotable bits but recycles the same ones from the first movie like it was a VW Bus-driving, compost-loving, stinky hippie.

This time around, Borat comes to America to give his daughter, Tutar (Maria "Balaclava" Bakalova), as a gift to Vice Pussy Grabber Mike "God Hates Fags" Pence. Why? Because the first movie got Borat in hot water with the Kazakhstani government, and if he doesn't get Big K back on the old U.S. of A's good side, the gummint gonna done murder his hairy ass.

I'm not sure what the shit Cohen has been doing over the past 14 years, but it definitely wasn't writing new Borat jokes. Seriously, whose goat do you have to blow around here to get something more than a heavily accented, "High five!" or racist rednecks singing along with Borat about killing anyone who can't quote the current NASCAR standings?

October 30, 2020