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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow


If you needed any convincing that the PC fuckwits are completely off their nuts, check this shit out. Lin-Manuel Miranda, the creator of the multicultural, raptastic history lesson Hamilton, who's an American of Puerto Rican and Mexican descent, and who's an Oscar away from EGOT-ing, released the movie version of his Latinx-focused musical In the Heights this week, and the aforementioned PC fuckwits lost their minds because the almost exclusively Latinx cast wasn't . . . get this . . . dark-skinned enough.


It's enough to make you pine for the relatively saner days of the Aughts. Back in '04, for example, no one had shit to say about fuck when it came to the almost entirely lily white cast of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. In fact, people just sat back and enjoyed this retro-Deco adventure flick that was basically the throwback love child of Saturday matinee serials and film noir without so much as a heavy sigh at the fact that it shamelessly flaunted both Hindenberg disaster and Pearl Harbor attack imagery.


Filmed almost entirely in front of green screens - a full year before Sin City did the same thing to much greater acclaim - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow stars Jude "Above The" Law as the captain of the sky, which is to say some dude who can fly a plane, shoot a gun, and punch someone in the nose all while not being beholden to any particular government, laws, etc. His love interest, Polly Perkins (Gwyneth "The Vagina Candle Monologues" Paltrow), is a sassy Lois Lane type who tags along to get the scoop on why giant robots are attacking cities around the globe to steal generators, coal, and other resources.


Along the way, Cap and Perk get some help from the allegedly British commander of a S.H.I.E.L.D-style helicarrier fleet, Franky (Angelina "Angie" Jolie). Jolie spends her few scenes strutting around in an eyepatch delivering cheesy lines like, "Alert the amphibious squadron!" with flawless arch sincerity. She obviously had the most fun of anyone on the production.


Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow gives its audience what so few movies do today: some fucking fun. Is that so much to ask, especially in a world where everyone seems to be hell-bent on being miserable all the time?


Fuck the PC Nazis (and the regular Nazis, too)!


June 18, 2021


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