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   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.


Office Space

Kids are unbelievably fucking stupid. Not because they believe in Santa Clause or their parents' intelligence. Not because they stick crayons up their noses and can't be trusted not to guzzle the cleaning products under the kitchen sink. But because they can't wait to "grow up."

You know what growing up gets you, you ignorant little assholes? Bills to pay, mouths to feed, and the mind-numbing, soul-crushing job that - at least on paper - is supposed to fund all that bullshit. And for most of you twerps, that means working some kind of "corporate" gig. Before the pandemic and the work from home reality that it spawned, that was commonly referred to as an "office job," and it is its own, special kind of hell.

No movie has ever captured the inane insanity of office jobs better than 1999's Office Space, a movie that is as horrifyingly hilarious today as it was the day it was released. It should be required viewing for anyone considering "honest work" of any kind.

Office Space skewers every sadly true cliche about cubicle life . . . except the one about some jerkoff microwaving fish in the breakroom and turning the entire place into low tide at the Jersey shore. Annoying coworkers? Present. Narcissistic boss who cares less about the people who actually do the work than he does about his prime parking space? You know it. Companies that will commit any atrocity short of actual genocide to save a buck? Front and fucking center.

Peter (Ron "Dr." Livingston) pushes paper at a tech company, and he's as miserable as that sounds. He goes to a hypnotist to try to deal with the crippling depression of his "career" and, due to the hypnotist keeling over mid-session, comes out giving absolutely zero fucks about work. Rather than getting him fired, his newfound inability to care about action items, missions statements, and TPS Reports puts him on the fast track to middle management.

Office Space is one of the funniest, most quotable movies out there. In addition to all the laughs and spot on social commentary, it features Jennifer "Rachel" Aniston as a fed up waitress, "Saint" Stephen Root as the perfect office misfit, and Diedrich "Big" Bader as Peter's blue collar, threesome-aspiring neighbor.

I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and watch Office Space this weekend, mkay?

March 24, 2023

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